Protect your vital interests.
Don't engage in petty rivalries.
Pay close attention to what others do.
And watch what comes out of your mouth.
It sucks that it has come to this, but just yesterday, I realised that S will never be my friend. She has a lot of faults that I can't stand although I'm sure I've got a lot of faults that she can't stand as well. Besides my main issue with her being dismissive about other people's experiences and opinions and having a glorified perspective of her own achievements and sufferings, she's a hypocrite. S never truly cared about anyone. She may convince HM that she cares, she may even think she does care, but all that matters to her is herself. How she can boss more people around, how she can plot her climb to medical school, how she can construct this persona that fits her idea of perfection.
Understanding that wasn't hard.
Constantly reminding myself that she is such a person and I shouldn't let her behaviour affect me shouldn't be as well.
Navigating our tricky relationship so that HM and S would think that I'm friendly, sidestepping S's efforts to make me look bad in front of HM and W, and telling her to fuck off without actually saying fuck off would be harder. By letting her get to me and engaging in petty passive aggressive conversations is only making me look bad. I need to find a better way and no, talking is not an option.
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