If not now, when?

Maybe I'm not at Barnard.
Maybe I'll never be.
Maybe all my dreams are dead.
And I'll never be who I wanna be.

But it's okay.
It's not the end.
It's important to look forward.

I only need to be the best version of me now.
Everyday.
Every moment.
And that is all there is to be.
In the end, I'll only have me.

反思（二）

为人无求。成仁无私。人人无我。

反思（一）

简单的事有时候会变得很复杂，复杂的事到最后会变得不可收拾。

We tell ourselves stories in order to live.

This place. All the way in Australia. Where it's nice and warm. Is 12 acres. That's 8 acres more than Barnard. 8 freaking acres. Barnard is small. I still want to go there though. Not too big myself.

(realestate au via desire to inspire)

When you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.

Something inexplicable pisses me off about the attitudes of certain “minimalistic” fashion bloggers. I used to ignore but recently their attitude puts me off. I can’t quite put my hand on it besides saying that it’s a combination of snooty hypocrisy, constant repetition of what minimalism should be and excuses such as “I’m not claiming that I’m anywhere near a minimalist (or to that extent)” when it’s clear that they certainly view themselves as such. But it’s not just these qualities alone that make me angry. It’s the ignorance, almost sincerity, of these bloggers that elicits this strange rage. Are they that unconscious of it all?

I’m still scared by the way. Numb and intensely afraid.

All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.

Applying to Barnard. Scared. I wish to see you there. Pray for me please.

In the end I will be me.

Grace. Fortitude. Wit. Kindness. Beauty.

Listamania!

100 books for 2011

I'm participating in the 100 books 2011 challenge. The point of the challenge is to read 100 books in 2011. There's a few rules of course. No re-reads, no comic books and no jumping through sections. Anything and everything else is allowed. Fiction, non-fiction, plays, other languages, etc.

I honestly think I'm going to read 100 books or something really close to it. It's about 2 books a week. I should be able to do that. The problem isn't the reading. No. The problem is finding something interesting to read. So. Any suggestions?

Chasing the dragon.

The latest hope in a jar/tube/bottle. It's a never ending cycle. After acne, there are scars, then wrinkles and hyperpigmentation then, there's no then. It's all downhill from 10. When is this going to end? Going through periods of hope then despair then acceptance then desire then hope again. Where is my cure?

(Sofia Coppola's beauty cabinet from Vogue Pairs via tfs.)